John struggles to get to work on time. Susan cannot escape periods of dark reflections after the loss of her husband. Emily feels like she is constantly behind as a homeschooling mom of three kids. Samantha and Joey both report that their marriage is “less-than-ideal.”
The situations above may initially seem quite distinct from one another, but they could each benefit from the same tool in the counselor’s toolkit: utilizing schedules in the lives of counselees.
Outlining a Counselee’s Schedule
Schedules are a simple counseling tool that can be implemented at any point within the counseling process, but the data gathering period may be the most helpful time to begin. In order to use this tool, first, establish the parameters of a regular week in the counselee’s life. You may want to include less than weekly but still regular commitments (once a month engagements, irregular work schedules, etc.), but usually, one week is sufficient for analysis. On a piece of paper, I will sketch a “weekly chart” listing all seven days of the week, including the times the counselee goes to bed and wakes up.
Next, place the major building blocks of the counselee’s life in the schedule. Major building blocks are essential things that must get done every week. Including the start and stop time, jot down the hours the counselee spends at work, completing errands, making dinner, putting the kids to bed, attending church, and so on. The counselee’s schedule will fill quickly. Always ask open-ended questions in this step (“What do you usually do after work?”) rather than leading questions (“When do you go to church?”). This way, you are allowing the counselee to reveal what they prioritize in their week, thus uncovering helpful angles for future conversations if they are consistently omitting items essential for Christian growth.
Finally, fill in the gaps with the non-essentials of the counselee’s life, including hobbies, recreation, shopping, travel, and social engagements. Here, your counselee will often be forced to consider the area of life that usually takes up enormous amounts of time but is often minimized—time spent on social media and technology. It is easy to discover the objective facts of this information, since most of our devices will track a person’s time scrolling Facebook or watching Netflix. Many times, counselees will be shocked when they see precisely how many hours they spend using technology.
What next? The counselee has just given you a constructive framework for analyzing their life and their presenting problem for counseling. Biblical counselors can use schedules as (1) a tool for understanding the counselee’s experience and (2) a framework for implementing practical change between sessions.
Understanding the Counselee’s Experience
We know from Genesis 1 and Ecclesiastes 3 that life contains rhythms, or a “time for everything.” In creation, God instilled various habits and patterns into the very fabric of the world, such as waking and sleeping, working and resting, sowing and reaping. Thus, biblical counselors must remember that every counseling issue occurs within the context of the habits and rhythms of life. In other words, counseling issues exist within the life of the counselee and will “show up” on the schedule.
Here are some specific ways that schedules provide a comprehensive perspective for understanding a counselee’s experience:
- Schedules cover the entirety of a counselee’s life. Jesus tells us that we will know people by the fruit in their lives (Matt 7:16–20). An hour of discussing a certain issue may reveal only a small portion of the counselee’s life outside of your office. Schedules help us see the entire “tree” of a counselee to assess their fruit, rather than focusing solely on one or two branches.
- Schedules reveal priorities and values. From a biblical anthropology, we know that people are motivated by the things that they treasure (See Matt 6:21). Just as a pocketbook or budget can reveal a person’s priorities clearly, a schedule records how a counselee spends another precious commodity: time. We spend our time on the things we prioritize in life.
- Schedules provide a window into the counselee’s lifestyle and habits. Paul challenges the church in Ephesus to “[look] carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” (Eph 5:15–16). Although the application of this verse may vary depending on a person’s temperament, Paul’s command reveals the truth that Christians must live self-reflective lives, always aware of where their feet are leading them (Prov 4:26). Habits and lifestyles are directly tied to a person’s character. As we push people toward maturity in Christ (Eph 4:13), our counselees’ lifestyles and habits provide a baseline and starting point for our expectations and their growth.
Discussing a counselee’s schedule can lead to fruitful discussion concerning the counselee’s experience that would otherwise be left unaddressed. For example, you may quickly discover that a large gap exists between what a counselee expects to accomplish in a day and what they can actually get done—an easy way to produce low-grade stress and anxiety from unrealistic expectations. Or, schedules may reveal unhealthy habits in life: binge eating, scrolling TikTok, or staying up too late. A schedule can serve as a tool for revealing deeper issues within a person’s life and may point to disordered desires that require attention.
Implementing Practical Change
Counseling follows a regular rhythm. Counselors meet with their counselees, then send them out to reflect upon the truths discussed in counseling and apply these truths to their lives. Although a counselee may uncover a new insight or perspective within the counseling session, the change itself most often occurs in the space outside of sessions, as the Holy Spirit continues to transform the counselee through the ministry of the Word. As counseling progresses, the counselee’s schedule can serve as a useful tool for implementing practical change in the following ways:
- Schedules help the counselee identify the specific time they intend to address their counseling issue, as well as help the counselee (re)establish spiritual disciplines. In many ways, counseling is similar to working with a personal trainer at a gym—people will only see results if they devote their own time toward achieving their goals throughout the week. Counselees cannot expect change if they are not “putting in the work” through completing assigned “growth” exercises and applying counseling principles in their personal lives. Schedules give counselors and counselees an opportunity to proactively plan how the counselee intends to work on the counseling issue between sessions. When the counselee returns, the counselor can begin by asking whether they completed their homework assignment at 4 PM on Thursday, or read their Bible at 7 AM, or had that conversation with their child Tuesday evening after dinner.
- Schedules allow counselors and counselees to address critical times for making progress in the counseling issue. Your counselee could leave with a general plan for addressing grief or lust, but it is better if they have a specific plan for Friday evening (when the widow regularly confronts periods of darkness) or Saturday morning (when the college student spends all day alone in his apartment). Discussing schedules also places counselees in a proactive posture as they confront their counseling struggles, preparing the counselee to stand and fight during those difficult moments (Eph 6:11) instead of responding reactively to the temptations and trials that appear recurrently in their weekly routine.
In a session with a counselee, we might identify two practical changes in her schedule that could (a) give her more time to read God’s Word and (b) remove stress from work that had been lingering for multiple days. When I meet next with the counselee, I know immediately where to begin our conversation—did she follow through with the “scheduled” changes that we discussed in the previous session?
Conclusion
When multiple counseling issues seek to overwhelm us, shutting down our decision-making abilities and processing skills, schedules allow counselees to find their feet, reset their aim on pleasing God (2 Cor 5:9), and tackle their issues one practical step at a time. In the hands of a Gospel-centered counselor, this counseling tool can be effectively wielded to understand the experience of counselees and implement practical change in their lives.
