There is a common image of a biblical counselor—a person in a chair with a Bible, a pen, and a notepad. As with sitting in church, there is something instinctive about the impulse to bring something into counseling to take notes—a piece of paper, a journal, or an iPad. The question that follows is then, “What exactly should I include in my notes?” “What is ‘note-worthy’?”
The spirited recording of the flow of a conversation does not guarantee that the counselor is using their notes or their attention well. In looking to the Scriptures, the practice of notetaking is overlooked except for the presence of scribes in the Ancient Near East and the first century, a valuable skill within a largely illiterate society. Early in your counseling practice, it is easy to fall into the habit of scribbling down anything and everything that seems somewhat interesting at random. The practice of notetaking may vary widely depending upon factors such as the counselor’s personality and/or context. Some counselors need to take extensive summary notes to remember the previous conversation within a parachurch counseling ministry, while others can rely upon their sharp recall of those conversations over a cup of coffee. In either situation, here are three categories I have found useful for summarizing the “what” and “how” of notetaking in my practice of biblical counseling.
Notepad – The Brain’s Backup Hard Drive
Here is the basic principle behind my approach to taking notes. My notepad, a dual-purpose clipboard with a paper-and-pencil storage area,1 is a physical extension of my brain. It is my brain’s backup hard drive. My brain has a lot to do in a counseling session. For example, my brain is constantly processing interpretation from the counselee—body position, facial expressions, tone, emotions, as well as their words, stories, use of language, personality, and more.
My brain is also thinking about the flow and trajectory of the counseling session. Are we moving through the agenda I set? How many minutes are left? What is the temperature in the room? What should I assign for homework? Should I chase that rabbit or let it go? Did I explain the previous concept well enough? Do I push or give room?
My brain is also flipping through the Bible to find an appropriate passage for the conversation after the counselee’s open comment disrupted everything I had planned to talk about today. Where does Jesus talk about the kingdom of heaven and seeds again? Is the story of God’s people rebuilding the walls in Ezra or Nehemiah? Which Psalm refers to God as our Rock and our Redeemer?
My brain is tired just thinking of all that it must do in counseling! To prevent wearing your brain out, “offload” information to paper to relieve your mental processor and give your counselee and the conversation your full attention.
Take Note of Factual Information
The first category to appear in my notes is factual information. This category most often appears in the “data gathering” stage of the counseling process. Typically, most counselees are functional strangers to their counselors, even those whom they may know on a superficial level through mutual acquaintances. Counselors must efficiently gather and process a good bit of information about their counselees in one or two sessions.
Counselees come with a lot of facts. Dates, names, places, events, and more. As a counselor, you want to maintain that personal relationship in the room, and counselees will appreciate that you are paying attention to the names of their children, where they went to school, or the date their lives changed forever. The problem is that even the counselor with the best memory will struggle to focus on the conversation while trying to remember whether they would like to work on reconciling their relationship with Sarah or Samantha. Instead, give your brain some relief. Write it down!
Counselees and their counseling issues have a story. It is therefore not uncommon for my notes to gradually evolve into a rough timeline of important places, people, and events. This sketch also gives me the freedom to be present in the conversation with all necessary information only a glance away from my memory.
Take Note of Sudden Inspiration
One of the most frustrating experiences I have in life is when I can’t remember something that I wanted to say. Do you know that feeling? Someone else is talking, and something they say sparks an idea or comment. Out of courtesy, you tell yourself, “I’ll let them finish their thought before sharing this amazing idea,” only for the thought to float away like a balloon once it is your turn to speak.
The fact that many people can sympathize with this experience reveals how porous our memories are. Counseling makes this experience more painful since the outcome of the counseling, and even the perception of you as a counselor, can feel dependent upon asking the right question, making the right comment, or changing the flow of conversation at the right time.
It is common for biblical counselors to write in their notes a proposed trajectory of their upcoming meeting—topics to explore, passages to discuss, and questions to ask. In the moment, if an insightful question or an unexplored area comes to mind, write it down! If the main section of your notes follows the flow of conversation, you can start a sidebar that traces the meeting’s trajectory as it unfolds. There will be times where three or four thoughts of inspiration pop into my head all at once. Quickly jotting them down in a logical order keeps me focused on the conversation, knowing these precious balloons won’t mischievously float away when I need them.
Take Note of Significant Words and Phrases
Counseling includes a form of revelation. We know who our God is and what He is like through His Word. Similarly, we learn about our counselees through their words. We learn about their biography, personality, likes and dislikes, and their opinion of the local professional sports team.
As our counselees are revealing more about themselves throughout the counseling conversation, some words are more revealing than others. Every counselor knows that there are times when a counselee’s words provide a window into their soul.
“No one ever stays around in my life.”
“I’m beginning to wonder if I can continue on.”
“I think God may have forgotten about me.”
These words should register more than a small tremor on the counselor’s Richter scale. When the counselor senses that the counselee has revealed something that may warrant more attention, write it down! These moments could include a revelation about their relationship with God or others, their view of themselves, or even their perspective on their struggle, which is the complete opposite of God’s perspective in his Word.
You do not want to return to this moment in the conversation with a “I think that you said something that sounded like X.” Write down exactly what they said with quotation marks so that you can return to it later when the time comes.
Conclusion
Biblical counselors recognize the importance of taking notes and develop their own approaches over time. For those beginning their counseling journey or looking for tips to improve their notetaking practice, view your notes as your brain’s backup hard drive. Is the counselee sharing important factual information? Is your brain combusting with inspiration? Are the words of your counselee revealing insights into the depths of their soul?
Write it down!
