An unexpected motif that reappears in my counseling ministry is the issue of courage. By courage, I do not mean “getting over my fear of the dark” courage. This is not “stand up to your bullies” courage. Rather, it is the reality that many Christians—Christian men, in particular—feel defeated by life. If they were to look back on their personal biography, they are not where they thought they would be. They have seen their own decisions blow up in their faces or in the faces of others who trusted them and followed them. They are paralyzed in decision-making by the fear of failure. In other cases, in the heart of the Christian who is ensnared in sin that is wreaking havoc on others, is the fear, “I don’t think I can overcome this struggle. I don’t think I can change. I just can’t do it.”
As a counselor in these situations, I often find myself in the position of the counselee’s “cheerleader.” Not in the sense that I have catchy cheers and pom-poms, but that I have the role of helping the counselee to see what they cannot see for themselves—what God desires to do in them and through them by the transforming power of the Word and Spirit. Many Christians need help rediscovering the courage to re-engage in their responsibilities of leadership in the home, the church, and the world. A passage I have found quite helpful in this regard, for others and myself, is 2 Samuel 10.
Second Samuel 10 is a fascinating passage. The adultery and murder that upended the household of Uriah the Hittite looms in the following chapter, but many people overlook how that story is bookended by a national conflict with the enemies of God’s people in chapters 10 and 12. After an attempt to offer an olive branch to the newly installed Ammonite king backfires, 2 Samuel 10 finds the armies of Israel on the battlefield between two formidable foes—the armies of the Ammonites and the Syrians.
I find it helpful to remind counselees of the real-life stakes of biblical passages, especially since, sadly, many Christians read them as just another harmless story from a children’s book. In 2 Samuel 10, the men of Israel—sons, fathers, and husbands—find themselves face-to-face with foes that have real weapons—sharp swords and piercing arrows—and have real intentions of ending their lives. Most counselees will not find themselves in similar circumstances, but drawing attention to these details can show the relevance of a passage to their own difficulties and struggles. In an argument from the greater to the lesser, if God’s counsel applies to life-and-death scenarios, it is also relevant to the challenges and trials Christians encounter today.
Upon the field of battle, two brothers and commanders of Israel, Joab and Abishai, have one final war counsel together. Their circumstances are bleak. Joab and the armies of Israel face battles on two fronts (v. 9), a tactical disadvantage no commander desires. And so, Joab and Abishai are required to split their forces, weakening their overall strength in the face of the combined armies of the Syrians and Ammonites. In this final conversation, Joab shares with Abishai—and with us—a final word of counsel:
And [Joab] said, “If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come and help you. Be of good courage, and let us be courageous for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to him.” – 2 Samuel 10:11–12
Joab’s words reveal three directions for Christians fighting for courage in the battles of life.
Do not fight alone
The context of this passage is itself instructive for Christians as they think about the issue of courage. In this battle, Joab is not alone. In this moment, before the fate of God’s people is decided on the field of battle, Joab has someone he can trust in: Abishai. Joab and Abishai are peers in terms of skill and experience. Abishai was chief over thirty of David’s mighty men (2 Sam 23:15). His name appears in 1 and 2 Samuel only in times of conflict and war. He makes his first appearance as the young David’s companion in a midnight raid upon Saul’s camp (1 Sam 26:6) and saves an older King David from a Philistine giant (2 Sam 21:17), a sign that David’s time in battle had come to an end. He led in the conquest of the Edomites (1 Chr 18:12). He played a significant role in the conflict between the house of David and the house of Ish-bosheth and his general Abner (2 Sam 2–3), as well as David’s conflict with his son, Absalom (2 Sam 18).
In 2 Samuel 10, Abishai is a seasoned warrior and general, and Joab knows it. Not only are Abishai and Joab battle-hardened; they are also brothers, both sons of Zeruiah (2 Samuel 2:18). Their commitment to one another was most likely strengthened not only by their shared blood, but the shed blood of their other brother Asahel at the hands of Abner (2 Sam 2:23). As their vengeance upon Abner reveals, they never forgot the death of their lost brother in the battle at Gibeon (2 Sam 3:30).
Although the text of 2 Samuel 10 does not reveal the inner thoughts of Joab, it must have been quite comforting to be standing back-to-back with such an accomplished warrior. It is easier to have courage when you have mature and competent brothers and sisters by your side. In verse 10, Joab can entrust an entire army—half of the statistical equation—to Abishai, lightening his own load. “If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come and help you” (2 Sam 10:11). Like many multi-front conflicts, Joab’s words reveal a comfort. If his own enemy proves too strong, all Joab needs to do is stall or hold his ground so that Abishai can win his side and then reinforce Joab.
The relationship between Abishai and Joab at this point is instructive. Many people who struggle with courage feel quite alone and without allies or friends. This dynamic can appear counterintuitive, especially for pastors, elders, fathers, husbands, and business leaders who are surrounded by people all the time. But a lack of courage can often reveal that—for all the people in their lives—these leaders feel alone in their battles. They, and they alone, have this great burden that no one else can carry, or this great obstacle that no one else can overcome. Sadly, there are times when this reality is self-inflicted. Some leaders struggle to ask for help, and their loved ones watch in pain as they succumb to a weight they did not have to bear alone. Other times, these leaders are alone. Like Paul, they find themselves in a life-or-death situation with no one at their side (2 Tim 4:16).
Either way, the counsel from this passage is evident. Courage is encouraged by competent friends—brothers-in-arms. As Solomon writes,
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! – Ecclesiastes 4:9–10
The time to look for such friends is not in the heat of battle but long before. Are you investing in friendships that can help you in the toughest of times? They will be a great help when you need encouragement.
Focus on others, not yourself
If you consider 2 Samuel 2:12, what reason does Joab offer for Abishai to have courage?
“Be of good courage, and let us be courageous for our people, and for the cities of our God. . . . (2 Sam 2:12)”
These words reveal another insight of counsel concerning courage. If you were to interview leaders before important moments of leadership—a pastor before a congregational meeting, a fiancé moments before his wedding, a businessman before his board—how would they answer the question, “What are you doing this for?”
Sadly, many leaders’ primary motivation can be quite selfish. A pastor may respond to questions from his elders out of concern for his paycheck. A fiancé may say “I do” primarily in view of the privileges and pleasures that marriage can afford him. A businessman may think about his own reputation or approval among his peers. But genuine courage is rarely fueled by selfish ambition. Rather, biblical and godly courage is empowered by a deeper motivation: “Others are counting on me.”
Joab and Abishai are not fighting for themselves. They are fighting for “our people,” for “the cities of our God.” If they lose, the armies will continue their onslaught on their mothers, wives, and children. Therefore, they have to win. There is no other option. Unlike the hired hands who run when the personal cost becomes too great (John 10:11), these leaders follow the example of the good shepherd who lays down his life for his sheep (John 10:15).
Our society loves stories of selfless sacrifice. This universally approved scene reveals how our hearts were created to recognize the perfect model of love in Jesus Christ. “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers” (1 John 3:16). A great way to grow in courage is to adopt this same posture of servant leadership—replacing selfish motivations for courage with love-fueled courage that draws upon laying down your life for your family, your church community, and those who follow your leadership.
Fight with all your might, then leave the rest to God.
In their final conversation before this battle, Joab’s words end with a final note of uncertainty, “Be of good courage, and let us be courageous for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to him” (2 Sam 10:12). At this point, many modern readers would feel the helium leaving the balloon of their confidence. “What a minute, did Joab just reveal that he does not know if he will actually win? What do you mean by saying, ‘may the Lord do what seems good to him’? How does that inspire confidence? Why bring fate or a higher power into this speech at this point? Aren’t you just planting seeds of doubt?”
Yes, Joab’s words do introduce the possibility that Joab, Abishai, and the armies of Israel may lose, but the general’s words reveal the appropriate level of confidence that any true leader can reasonably have. Joab and Israel may win, or they may lose. Unless you are a Power 4 team facing the local pee-wee squad, there is nothing particularly virtuous in showboating and guaranteeing your victory, especially as the internet regularly reminds us of speeches promising easy wins that gloriously backfire. There is nothing to be gained and much to be lost in lying to those who follow your leadership about your chances. As 1 Samuel 17 demonstrates, anyone can find themselves being a Goliath defeated by a David.
For these reasons, at some point every leader needs to prepare themselves, rally the troops, and charge into battle saying as their final word, “Now, let the Lord do what seems good to him.” There is great confidence to be gained in resting your leadership upon the sovereignty of God. As Paul writes, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Rom 8:31). Now, some Christians will immediately respond that this passage is not preaching a form of the prosperity gospel, and that there are many cases throughout Scripture and history of God’s people taking their fair share of losses. Nevertheless, Scripture provides every Christian with confidence that, no matter the outcome, our God is in ultimate control, and he will work out his purposes in our circumstances as he moves all things to accomplish his primary ends of his own glory and our good (i.e., sanctification and godliness). In this way, Christians can rest upon the truth that in any situation, “the Lord will always do what seems good to him.”
Conclusion
What will be your next pre-game pep-talk? Before that family dinner, that congregational meeting, or that decisive presentation, what will be your final words of encouragement to yourself? I do not know exactly what you will say, but I do hope that you can take the truths found in 2 Samuel 10 to heart. There is courage to be found in not fighting alone, focusing on others, and leaving the rest to God. Maybe you will enter into that meeting like I have many times, uttering something close to these words to yourself:
“Be of good courage, and let us be courageous for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to him.” – 2 Samuel 10:12
